I´ve been wearing my cochlear implant all day today. I like the way it feels on me. I actually like the way it looks, too. I keep expecting people will notice and comment, but not so much.
I can not hear anything with the implant today. I think the power/volume is too low. It has to be this way evidently, because I feel the stimulation before the sound, and it makes me a little uncomfortable. The audiologist said that I have to wear it like this for a while to get used to the stimulation so I can handle it when it is strong enough to send a signal that will be perceived as sound.
I am anxious to hear something, and I am not. I do feel startled when a door slams and such, but I don´t hear it. I just feel that the CI sent a signal. That signal startles me.
I haven´t heard from my left ear in 30 years... if ever. I know this is going to take time. Still, I really wanted to be hearing things already... anything. (I hear in my right ear with a hearing aid, but I mean with my left ear.)
Logically, I understand this process. Everything has been explained well. I know things are as they should be. Emotionally, however, I am anxious. I get scared that it just isn´t going to work.
Today I reflect on the wisdom of the wise teacher. Let me live well, even during the uncertain moments.
Everything in this world has its appropriate time, and everything its occasion.
There is a time to be born and there is a time to die.
There is a time to plant and a time to harvest.
There is a time to kill and a time to heal.
There is a time to break things a a time to fix things.
There is a time to be sad and a time to rejoice.
There is a time to cry and a time to dance.
There is a time to scatter rocks and a time to gather them.
There is a time to hug and a time to back off.
There is a time to search and a time to let go.
There is a time to be frugal and a time to spend everything.
There is a time to tear and a time to mend.
There is a time to be quiet and a time to talk.
There is a time to love and a time to hate.
There is a time for war and a time for peace.
God has given a time for everything. He put eternity on our hearts, and gave us a desire to understand why things happen, but he doesn´t let us know and really understand all the things he does.
Everything God does lasts forever.
So, of all that has been said, here is the conclusion. Fear God and obey his commands. That is why were were created. At the end of our lives, we will have to give an account to God for all we have done with our time, whether good or bad, even the things done in secret.